Freedom to Fail

In spending time with Barbara DuGuid a couple of weeks ago, I keep coming back to the question of, “Do we give our kids the freedom to fail?” It’s a great question to ask, but the idea seems a bit counterintuitive. However, the more I have reflected on this idea the more it seems to resonate with me. When one considers the two possible outcomes we could want for our children – good judgment and a healthy walk with the Lord – and we spend some time thinking about how these traits are developed, we can arrive at the idea that they NEED freedom to fail. 

Let me develop these one at a time. Good judgment comes from experience. Specifically, it comes from exercising bad judgment, suffering the consequences, and subsequently learning from the experience. It is a three-step process, and we, as a Shannon Forest community, need to be a place that allows this to happen.

More than a decade ago, I was tasked with helping integrate a recently purchased company. This required me to manage people in two different locations for the first time. At the same time I began to report to a new boss. My new boss allowed me to make some bad decisions. They were neither catastrophic, nor were they good. I will never forget his counsel to me. He said, "Bob, you learn to make good decisions by making some bad decisions and learning from them." The remainder of that conversation focused on what I could learn.

Barbara reminded me how freedom to fail can help strengthen one’s walk with the Lord. My spiritual failure need not drive me to despair, but to the cross instead. There is no condemnation, no guilt, no shame, and no wrath for those in Christ. But there is still sin. Without a strong understanding of God's grace when we sin, and we WILL sin, we will repeat the cycle: condemnation, guilt, shame, and wrath. 

Romans 8 talks about how there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus has set us free! God has done what none of us could do – He condemned sin in the flesh. Without the freedom to fail, we teach our children (and our students at Shannon Forest) to project self-righteousness and then hide behind it.  Freedom to fail allows us to teach repentance, forgiveness, and GRACE! It reminds us all how great a Savior we have in Jesus.

Consumers or Contributors?

The trillion dollar marketing industry tells us to be consumers.  Consumption is our way of life, be it shopping, eating, or relationships.  In fact I would state that it is seldom that we make a decision not based on being a consumer.  How do I know?  The fundamental question we all seem to ask is how will this benefit me? If there is no perceived personal utility, then we don't want it.  I would not much care if this was limited to stuff, although there is plenty to consider in this realm.  No, what concerns me is that this mindset permeates our relationships.  Our marriages, friendships, communities, church membership, even family; they all are seriously undermined by consumers.

The Bible tells us to be contributors. Re-read Genesis 12.  Salt and light.  Servant.  Not what do I get, but what do I give.  How can I serve? Think for a moment how thinking like a contributor would transform your key relationships.